Too fast...

We officially have a preschooler in the house! My oldest baby started last week and he has been doing so great. As for me, I have only cried once.

Ok, twice. Three times. WHATEVER. 

But really, this has been the most wonderful and difficult transition ever. Part of me feels like he was more than ready and truly needed to be in school. Then there is that little, no-so-quiet voice in the back of my head that is saying, "SLOW THIS TRAIN DOWN! I'M NOT READY, I'M NOT READY, I'M NOT READYYYYYYY!"

Does that sound familiar to anyone out there? Anyone at all?

To make matters worse, I'm facing the fact that my littlest baby is growing every day, faster and faster, and before I know it he'll be smashing his first birthday cake all over his fast and squeezing it between his chubby little fingers and I'M ALREADY CRYING.

Those feelings are real, people. That's real life right there in those words. Please don't mistake any of this for not being thankful that my boys are healthy, happy and growing as they should be. I am thankful for those blessings beyond what words can express. But that doesn't make it any less difficult to pass milestones with a healthy dose of sadness that they are changing so quickly. This is such a sweet time of life. Sweet and exhausting. Yes, definitely exhausting. Some days can't go by fast enough, but mostly I just want everything to slow down so I can take mental pictures of every precious little thing. 

Yesterday, Riley ran into his classroom, not bothering to look back at me and moving too fast for me to give him a hug and tell him I loved him. As I desperately tried to hold back the tears while I walked out to the car, I promised myself that every single time I dropped him off I would give him a hug and a kiss (as long as he'll let me) and tell him how much I love him. And I promised myself I would do all that I could to look at this growing-up-thing as the beautiful process it is.

Wish me luck.